Sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I was a fun-loving bartender without a care in the world, but most days it seems like a lifetime ago. And really, it WAS a long time ago. Yesterday I found myself wondering at what point did I start to feel “old”? When did I start to see my parents and grandparents in myself? I think it was around the time I turned 30.
I do realize that I am not actually old. I don’t feel old and most times I do not act old either. But in the eyes of my children, I am most definitely old. I started thinking about what my perception of my parents was when I was young, and I definitely thought that they were old. I also thought that they had life all figured out, that they knew everything, and that they could do absolutely anything. Do all kids feel that way, or were my parents just that awesome? (Maybe a little of both!) I’m not sure how Luke looks at us, but I do know that we do not have life figured out and we definitely do not know everything!!
Yesterday, I was in my pajamas at 4pm because I didn’t have to leave the house again. I used to tease my grandmother because she was always in sweats when she was at home. I now realize that being comfortable is much better than being fashionable while in your own home. Half the winter I wore my Ugg moccasin slippers to take Luke to school or to grocery shop. I don’t feel naked leaving the house without makeup on, and I’m pretty much ok with all of that. It’s not that I don’t care what I look like, it’s that I don’t care what other people think I look like. I think that’s my favorite part of my 30s so far. The people I don’t know matter a lot less, and the people I do know matter a lot more. Well, I’m off to do some gardening! Add another strike to the “old” column, ha!
Until our next adventure,