I was sitting here thinking today about what a good brother my oldest is. I have never once heard him complain about the twins, and he helps me every single day with them. That got me to thinking, is he missing out? Are the twins missing out on things in life because they are twins?
I tried to keep Luke’s life as normal as possible when the twins were born. He started Montessori when the twins were only two weeks old, and he’s played sports in the fall and spring each year. But let’s face it, everything was different for him. He went from an only child having all of our attention to being my helper. I was a mom with two infants and a three year old to care for with no family around. It was HARD. Looking back now I don’t know how I made it through the first few months when they were nursing every two hours. Luke was happy to help by bringing me diapers, wipes, whatever I needed. But we seriously never went anywhere. Even now, there are lots of things we still can’t do. There was a school musical and an art show he wanted to go to, but we couldn’t because the idea of taking two two-year olds is horrifying. There’s just no way.
Then there’s the twins. When Luke was their age, we went out to dinner frequently and went to museums and fairs. After we went from a three person family with two incomes to a five person family with one income, we cut down on doing those things. Two toddlers is tough when you try to go anywhere, especially if there are breakables! Not saying that I don’t take the twins anywhere, we just go to the park and the zoo instead. We probably do those things more now than when Luke was little because I’m home with them, but I can’t help but feeling guilty sometimes. I don’t want my kids to be the ones that have no idea how to act in a restaurant or to be less cultured because they didn’t spend a lot of time at the art museum. Maybe in the next year or so they’ll be ready for those things, but taking them to a museum right now gives me serious anxiety. I can just see Will destroying some priceless artifact!
So are my kids missing out? I’m not sure, but I am trying to love and teach them in the best way I know how, hopefully that is enough!
Until our next adventure,