Are My Kids Missing Out?

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I was sitting here thinking today about what a good brother my oldest is. I have never once heard him complain about the twins, and he helps me every single day with them. That got me to thinking, is he missing out? Are the twins missing out on things in life because they are twins?

I tried to keep Luke’s life as normal as possible when the twins were born. He started Montessori when the twins were only two weeks old, and he’s played sports in the fall and spring each year. But let’s face it, everything was different for him. He went from an only child having all of our attention to being my helper. I was a mom with two infants and a three year old to care for with no family around. It was HARD. Looking back now I don’t know how I made it through the first few months when they were nursing every two hours. Luke was happy to help by bringing me diapers, wipes, whatever I needed. But we seriously never went anywhere. Even now, there are lots of things we still can’t do. There was a school musical and an art show he wanted to go to, but we couldn’t because the idea of taking two two-year olds is horrifying. There’s just no way.

Then there’s the twins. When Luke was their age, we went out to dinner frequently and went to museums and fairs. After we went from a three person family with two incomes to a five person family with one income, we cut down on doing those things. Two toddlers is tough when you try to go anywhere, especially if there are breakables! Not saying that I don’t take the twins anywhere, we just go to the park and the zoo instead. We probably do those things more now than when Luke was little because I’m home with them, but I can’t help but feeling guilty sometimes. I don’t want my kids to be the ones that have no idea how to act in a restaurant or to be less cultured because they didn’t spend a lot of time at the art museum. Maybe in the next year or so they’ll be ready for those things, but taking them to a museum right now gives me serious anxiety. I can just see Will destroying some priceless artifact!

So are my kids missing out? I’m not sure, but I am trying to love and teach them in the best way I know how, hopefully that is enough!

Until our next adventure,

Moving Mommy

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Orange Rhino Challenge!

I posted awhile back about yelling. I’m far from perfect, and sometimes when I’m really stressed I yell. At the kids, at my husband, it happens, and I don’t want it to. I feel guilty every time it happens, and I just want to cry. I came across a blog about a month ago called the Orange Rhino Challenge. Over a year ago, the blogger started this challenge for herself to love more and yell less. She made it 520 days without yelling, and I know that I can do it too. I just need to focus on managing my stress better and taking care of me! Let’s face it, most of the time when I yell it isn’t because of the kids. It’s because I’m already at “that point” and the kids do something that sets me off.

I don’t think that yelling is productive or that it teaches my kids a “lesson”. Getting down on their level and speaking to them like the little people they are is much more effective, and a whole lot nicer!

I was a little skeptical at first, because I have a runner. He takes off in the parking lot, grocery store, driveway, restaurant, pretty much anywhere that I may have my guard down momentarily. Sometimes I need to yell to him in order to keep him safe! But there are rules, which is helpful. The site is a really great resource for mom’s out there! The Orange Rhino Facebook Page is also a great place for support from other mom’s along on this journey.

So, today, July 23, 2013 , I embark on the Orange Rhino Challenge. I will love more and yell less! I will not yell for the next 365 days and I will follow these rules…

  • My voice has to remain in Levels 0-4 (the nice tone voices!)
  • In case of Emergency (kid running off in parking lot, kid running into street, hot stove etc…) I can use a voice in level 6 but it has to be yelling “to” the kid not “at” the kid. When you yell at someone, it’s mean. When you yell “to” someone it’s to get their attention. Said voice MUST be followed by firm voice in level 3 or below otherwise it’s no good.
  • This one is the kicker. If Level 7 is ever used, I am set back not to 0, but by two days. This level is unacceptable as it is extra demeaning and hurtful….

*You can find the yelling meter here

Anyone up for joining me??

Until our next adventure,

Moving Mommy

Pick My Wedgie!

Today Ella came up to me and said “please pick my wedgie mommy!”. I just started laughing uncontrollably. Some of the things that are said in this house are pretty ridiculous. If someone were listening in on us they would think we are crazy! So I thought I’d share some of my favorite toddler conversations…

Me: Will, please take your hand out of your pants
Will: But I like my penis mommy!

Will: Ella has a stinky butt, can you clean it?

Luke: Ella just pulled on Will’s penis!
Me: Why doesn’t Will have pants on?
(Are you seeing a theme here? Will never has pants on!)

Ella: mommy, did you poop your pants?

Ella: I want a penis

Ella: Smell my feet mommy, they’re stinky

Ella: mommy, I have a booboo on my butt. Will you kiss it?

Ella: Dump the pee! I can’t pee on Will’s pee!

As I write this, I hear Ella say “I have a penis”. Will says “no you don’t”. Ella says “does mommy have a penis on her butt?”.

I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up. I hear more about body parts and bodily functions than an anatomy class. I don’t remember Luke talking about poop and penises all the time! Maybe it’s unique to boy/girl twins. I just know that I am ready for adult conversation by the time they go to bed.

Until our next adventure,
Moving Mommy

Moving Resources Part 3- The Worst Part of Moving to Another State

The DMV, or MVC, or BMV. Whatever the state calls it, it is a total nightmare. And there is no way to avoid going there if you want to continue to drive. Living in Ohio, Florida, Wisconsin, Texas, and New Jersey in the past six years, I’ve had my fair share of fun encounters with the DMV.

On my most recent trip, which was last week, I left in tears. They wouldn’t accept my marriage license (I used it in Ohio, Florida, Wisconsin, Texas, and the Social Security office). After driving 30 minutes and waiting in line for an hour, I was not pleased to say the least. My husband also was not pleased because I completely overreacted! I ended up having my cousin get another certified copy and overnighting it to me from Ohio. Nightmare, but at least I’m legal now!

One of the worst parts is that every state has different requirements. Most states require a birth certificate, your drivers license from another state, and proof of residency. Some require a Social Security card. Some require random stuff that you wouldn’t think of! It’s never easy.

My best advice is to do your legwork online. Print and fill out anything you can at home, make sure you have certified copies of all your documents, and go during the middle of the week in the middle of the month if you can. Don’t wait until your plates are almost expired (like I did), just in case it takes more than one trip!

My husband didn’t have much better luck than I did. His car is financed, so they made him fax a form to the leinholder, and he has to wait until the state receives his title from them to get plates. Awesome, right?

I’m not by any means blaming the people that work there. It’s not their fault the laws are completely different in every state!

Until our next adventure,
Moving Mommy